Writings about the intersection of mind, brain, body, relationships, and health.
Learn how to apply modern science and ageless wisdom to maximize your health and wellness.
We usually pride ourselves on our ability to analyze, plan, reason, and to solve complex problems. The human brain, particularly our brain’s pre-frontal (or “executive” brain) enables us to do that. But where do innovation, life’s “Eureka” moments, creative inventions, and spontaneous epiphanies come from? Surprisingly, they rise up from the work of the brain’s basement. Read on to discover the benefits of your brain’s Default Mode Network.
Each morning, I walk a nature path that winds through a forest and along a stream and marshland. For years, I’ve walked or run along this path, regardless of the season. In this new world defined by the Covid-19 virus, I’ve watched as the path has gone through a magical transformation.
A few weeks ago, depending upon the hour, you could hike the path without seeing a soul. With each passing day, as we moved further into Spring, more people began appearing on the trail, emerging from their winter homes like the green shoots that popped up and out from the trees, shrubs, and other plants that filled the forest.
The composition of the people reflected how we were all adjusting and adapting to life in the Covid Era. Older couples or individuals appeared first. Next came young children, leading their parent(s) on foot as together they escaped being locked in at home and could allow their urge to explore to find a place to express itself. They were followed by mothers and fathers pushing baby-filled strollers. Small groups of individuals and couples appeared, as well.
Without any formal discussion or agreement, an automatic social distancing etiquette was evident. When coming to within 50 yards of an on-coming person, both parties discreetly moved to opposite sides of the trail. No conversations were held, but a hearty, “good morning,” or “take care and stay safe,” became the ritual exchange. We shared this natural space together. We absorbed the sights and sounds and smells of the forest together. We all sought Mother Nature’s timeless ability to rejuvenate us as together we went forest bathing with one another (see https://bit.ly/2xdtu8i).
Almost unnoticed among the people taking in the water’s Spring flow, the blooming trees and sprouting greenery, were tiny bits of color - reds, yellows, oranges, blues, and purples. Painted stones. These painted stones sprouted anew each day like colorful magical mushrooms. Creations of forest elves (or arts and crafts projects of parents and children), the painted stones began to appear each morning in the forest underbrush, or precariously balanced on a fallen log, or nestled into a hollow in a trunk hacked out by a wood pecker.
The sayings inscribed on the stones were simple but inspirational. They reminded us to be hopeful. They encouraged us to remember we are all in this together. They inspired us to care and be kind. And, they sprinkled a new magic into what was already a beautiful daily ritual as all the forest walkers became engrossed in a new game of hide and seek. Now, we remind each other as we pass by one another on the trail, speaking out front behind masked faces at safe social distances, to “look out for the one on the log,” or “keep your eyes peeled around the bend,” or “there’s a new one today by the stream.” A community of neighbors who’ve become active participants in a daily ritual of discovery - of wonder, of smiles, of freedom from fear, as together we make our way, step-by-step, through another day in the Covid Era.
Thank you elves, wherever you are.
Every spring, at least in Minnesota, where the yearly seasons are quite distinct from one another, a sense of renewal, awakening, and promise fills the air. After seeming to hold our collective breath all winter as protection against the cold, spring arrives with a quickening of the breath in the warming air and a hurried anticipation of how best to express the promise of spring. Read on to apply a mindset of “beginning again” to your daily life.
Here are the headlines from today’s New York Times (March 27, 2020). I share them for one reason only. After reading the headlines, notice the reaction you have: Do you feel the up-welling of nervousness or anxiety? Do your thoughts begin to accelerate? Does the content of your thinking trend toward all sorts of dark future possibilities? Does your body want to freeze in place or perhaps generate the urge to run, to get away, to move? Two audio tracks to settle in and settle down. Enjoy!
These are anxious times. Anxiety takes many forms. For some, anxiety can appear as a vague, gnawing, clawing discomfort that rises up from deep in our guts. It can feel as though it is pulling us into a bottomless pit, that will swallow us whole, or that we are powerless to escape it. How many of you are experiencing such a feeling these days and wonder what to do?
William James said, “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” In this post, I offer several practical and accessible steps you can take to choose helpful thoughts over distressing ones, self-soothing actions over agitating ones, and re-asurring and reconnecting paths over isolating and desparing ones. Enjoy and stay in touch.
If I had to identify the one common denominator that every client I have ever seen brings to their sessions with me over the past 30 years of practice, it would be their unhappiness. That unhappiness comes in many forms and sizes. But one way or another, it is always there. To create your personal happiness plan, read on.
“I should have done better.” “I’m ugly (…or fat, or stupid, or unsuccessful, or undeserving, or unpopular or unworthy, or…).” “This isn’t good enough. I’ll never be good enough.” “I promise I’ll do better next time.” “Everything seems to come more easily for everyone else. I just can’t get it right.”
Do these thoughts sound familiar? They should. They are all forms of a rapidly exploding belief system that has more than doubled among people young and old in the U. S. in the past 20-years. They are all forms of unattainable perfectionism.
Excuse me for being a bit skeptical about relationship therapies. Given that I work with many couples of all shapes, sizes, and ages, that may be surprising, or even confusing….Aren’t there some basic, common sense, and proven truths about what creates relationship struggles and challenges and what can be done to help you to get back on track toward a more satisfying, rewarding, and fulfilling relationship? Thankfully, the answer is yes.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the “recipe” for loving relationships could be distilled into just a few words? The complexity of individual and interpersonal needs that intersect in our relationships prevents any simplistic, one-size-fits-all solution. But, there are several timeless skills that appear over and over as essential to cultivating strong, loving, and lasting relationships. In this post, I connect the brain’s functioning to relationship health. I hope you enjoy it!
